An elderly woman
comes into a bank and approaches the nearest counter.
“I would like to
open an account with your bank.” she says to the bank clerk.
He smiles and
replies, “Why of course, Madam, how much would you like to deposit?”…
…“One million
pounds!”, says the old lady.
The astonished clerk
smiles again but decides to proceed with caution.
The lady is
understandably reluctant to answer with so many other bank customers within
earshot.
Finally, the clerk
decides upon discretion and arranges a private meeting between the lady and the
manager of the bank.
After the
introductions are over, the bank manager asks the lady, “Madam, where did you
get so much money from?”
“It’s the profits
from all the winning bets I have placed recently”, she smiles.
The bank manager
cannot begin to imagine who this woman is or how she can be such a successful
gambler, old and frail as she looks. He contemplates the situation for a few
seconds before she looks him in the eye and speaks again…
“I bet you ten
thousand pounds that your crown jewels are square shaped!”
Caught completely by
surprise, the bank manager almost chokes before replying, “That is
quite a ridiculous suggestion, Madam. My gonads are as normal as any other
man’s!”
Again, the old lady
grins before declaring, “Well, if you’re so sure, then you won’t mind
putting your money where your mouth is!”
After a few minutes
of discussion with this odd woman the bank manager agrees to the wager, and she
promises to return the following day at 10am.
That night, the bank
manager is in bed and decides to be on the safe side. He slowly snakes his hand
towards his crotch and has a good rummage around. Everything is very normal
down there he thinks, not in the least bit square! The old lady cannot possibly
win. Reassured, he falls asleep.
The next morning the little old lady reappears at the bank with a smart dressed man in tow. They are ushered together into the manager’s office. She explains to the manager that she has brought her lawyer with her to act as a witness to the financial transaction.
As soon as the
formalities are out of the way she exclaims, “Well come on then, let’s
see them…both!”
Obligingly, the bank
manager drops his trousers and whips out his wedding tackle.
Triumphantly he
cries, “There, Madam, as you can see, everything is absolutely normal!”
The woman’s eyes
narrow as if to focus more fully on the situation before she says with a
playful look on her face,
“Well, they look
a little lumpy to me!”
The bank manager’s
patience is by now a little stretched and he immediately emphasizes that his
meat and two veg are perfectly normal for him.
The old lady counters
by saying, “Well, as there is the small matter of ten thousand pounds
on the line, I need to be absolutely sure – will you let me feel them, please?”
Aghast at such a
suggestion the bank manager considers long and hard what to do.
His children’s school
fees are due soon and he could really do with the money.
At last, he
reluctantly agrees to the lady’s request.
The elderly woman
kneels before him and cradles his balls, yanking them this way and that,
leaving him feeling weak at the knees.
Just as she stops,
satisfied that nothing more can be done, her lawyer collapses onto his knees
and begins to howl and cry, beating the floor with a fist.
“What’s the
matter with your lawyer?” the
bank manager asks.
“Well…”, says the old woman, “You may have won our
bet because your testicles are not square at all, but I bet twenty thousand
pounds with my lawyer here that I’d have my local bank manager firmly by the
balls today..!”
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