Russell Brand's Democratic Lottery

Russell Brand is sick of the lottery being run purely by poncey squares, greedy plums and corrupt geezers, who cruelly and arbitrarily force people against their will to choose random numbers...

L'Wren Scott loved a roulette flutter but Lady Luck deserted her virtual craps table punts

Los Angeles - An online spread betting website has published pictures of the late designer's $20,000 win at a Seizures Palace, Las Vegas roulette wheel on New Year's Eve 20016.

Smiling L'Wren and her deadbeat philandering septuagenarian boyfriend Mick Jagger were guests of honor at the lavish bash thrown by online gambling billionaire Russ DeLeon and his umbrella organization business partner-cum-wife Ruth Parasol.

Fact or Fiction?

      

Our last funny gambling story is one which has not been officially confirmed, but it’s so good that we’ll include is as a bonus. In 2010, news about an 8-year-old boy from Chandigrah, India winning $500,000 spread like a wildfire on the internet. 

Naughty MPs also using Computers for Porn and Gambling say dismissed Judges

Just as if things couldn't get any worse for the UK' s establishment after the dismissal of three judges for viewing pornography on business computers the other day, a recent audit of the House of Commons networks has uncovered similar misuse on 63 MP' s machines after following up a dismissed judge's allegation of computer abuse.

The Ultimate Arbitrage Betting Strategy! Caution, Joke!

An elderly woman comes into a bank and approaches the nearest counter.

“I would like to open an account with your bank.” she says to the bank clerk.

He smiles and replies, “Why of course, Madam, how much would you like to deposit?”…

…“One million pounds!”, says the old lady.

The astonished clerk smiles again but decides to proceed with caution.

“That’s a sizeable sum, Madam, where did you get so much money from?”

Quotations about Gambling

You never know beforehand what people are capable of, you have to wait, give it time, it's time that rules, time is our gambling partner on the other side of the table and it holds all the cards of the deck in its hand, we have to guess the winning cards of life, our lives.” 

“If I found 20 dollars on the ground, I’d be willing to bet I’d find someone in desperate need of money that I could give it to. And I’d bet 20 dollars, so even after finding and giving away 20 dollars, I’d have made 20 dollars.” 

Silly Question Answer Money Jokes

                                                 

                                       Where can you always find money?

                                                                   In the dictionary.

Nurse: How’s the boy who swallowed a pound coin?
Doctor: No change yet.

Why did the boy eat his cash?
Because it was his dinner money!

Why is sex like a bank account?
Because once you withdraw, you lose all interest.

How do dinosaurs pay their bills?
With Tyrannosaurus cheques!

What do you get if you cross a sorceress with a millionaire?
A very witch woman!